Laying all my cards on the table, I am not a “The Driver Era” fan. I’m not a “The Driver Era” hater either. I have simply lived my life orthogonal to Ross Lynch, and was fully content to continue this for the rest of my natural lifespan. But I was invited to the concert by friends who I see all too little, and so I went. Some would have you believe that the show was exhilarating, the crowd engaged, and that everyone left as committed “The Driver Era” fans. I disagree.
Before the opener, we were blessed with CMU’s own Maggie Yu and her workman-like DJing. I didn’t recognize the songs she was remixing, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. This was the best part of the night, and I find it a real shame that AB didn’t publicize this enough. Speaking of AB, the way they handled this event was very unprofessional. You could sense that they felt SOOO cool and important, yelling at us to get our QR codes out and “brightness ALL THE WAY UP” while we were maybe 10 minutes away from getting scanned in. And I can confirm the rumors, plenty of non-CMU students were let in. I’m glad to know that my activities fee is going to such good use.
“almost monday,” the opener, was miserable, singing a bunch of short, repetitive songs at us, with vocalist Dawson Daugherty affecting a whiny baby voice that, woe of woes, may even be how he really speaks! Of course, nobody knew any of the lyrics, so everyone just bobbed as they waited for the beautiful band of brothers. “almost monday” got the hint around 30 minutes in, and left us with a promise that Ross Lynch was coming next. I proceeded to get destroyed at iMessage GamePigeon 301 darts around five or six times and milled in place for a while as Sexyy Red and Nicki Minaj played (over the speakers, not in person).
When Ross Lynch and his two brothers and also two other guys came on stage, the crowd went wild. Phones surged, and I noticed how drastically Apple had changed the Camera app layout in recent years. As the show went on, I couldn’t help thinking about how strange the family dynamics were. There were three brothers up on stage, but “The Driver Era” is just a Ross and Rocky Lynch duo. The third brother, Riker (like the island), is only there on tours. Does he feel left behind by his ascendant brothers? Do Rocky and Riker feel weird being on stage next to their shirtless brother acting as a sexual object? Maybe all three of them look great in their birthday suits, but Ross is the only one letting us catch a glimpse. More people cheered when he finally took his shirt off than were singing along to the songs. I think that’s why most people were there.
Someone threw their bra on stage, which was a bit performative. It wasn’t anything impressive. I wonder if they brought a spare one just to throw, or if they were simply overcome with fits of passion and had to shimmy it off right there and then. Ross Lynch should have put it on. Or even one of the lesser brothers. I’m not picky.
I didn’t like the music. It just wasn’t my thing. The stage presence was great though, and the little bits of banter the brothers had between songs were charming.
By the night’s end, I hadn’t fallen prey to the charms of the music, though I will admit that Ross Lynch has it going on. As for the other bandmates, the jury’s still out. The whole affair seems strange, like “The Driver Era” is just a musical vehicle for people to see Ross Lynch shirtless. Freaks me out a bit.
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