Soup-er Bowl Tuesday

By Zachary Gelman

Carnegie Mellon is like a soup, and it is home to the Carnegie Mellon Dining Service, so there was no better place to host the Carnegie Mellon Dining Services’ Sixth Annual Soup Crawl than in Cohon University Center, the beating heart of student life. Nine soups faced off, and students could submit ballots to crown the victor. Sadly, we could only cast our vote for the best soup. Next year, I propose that a ranked-choice voting system is used instead, preferably an instant-runoff vote. This would be much more democratic and, in these uncertain times, we need democracy wherever we can get it.

To quote Tartan Publisher Hailey Cohen’s article on the Carnegie Mellon Dining Services’ Fifth Annual Soup Crawl verbatim:

“The Soup Crawl was introduced to campus in 2017 by the Program Director of Nutrition and Marketing at Carnegie Mellon Jessica Tones. The idea came from Tones’ observation that “We’re a soup-loving campus.” […] Tones noted the unique student interest in soups and saw an opportunity for a low-key event that fit students’ desired participation level. The Soup Crawl also takes place during the SLICE Winter Welcome program, promoting community-building through shared cultural and culinary exploration.”

To become informed voters, my fellow food taster and I embarked on a Joey Chestnut/Takeru Kobayashi competitive soup-eating challenge that put the crawl in soup crawl, resulting in nine soup portions filling our stomachs like tasty bowling balls. We started with the four Chartwells soups: Chef Rob’s Chicken a la Reine, Chef Dom’s Stuffed Pepper, Mike T.’s Famous French Onion, and Chef Vic’s Roasted Tomato Bisque with Grilled Cheese Croutons.

Rob’s Chicken was exquisite, an everyday soup for every occasion. In the end, I decided to crown this one as my favorite. Tartan Publisher Hailey Cohen’s favorite soup from last year was also by Chef Rob, his white turkey chili.

Dom’s Stuffed Pepper had that meaty goodness one expects from a nice stuffed pepper soup. I’ve got nothing but positive opinions on it.
Speaking of onions, Mike’s French Onion had great plating, with onions delightfully draped over the sides of the disposable soup bowl and a little piece of bread dunked in it. The sum total was powerful in flavor and sodium.

Chef Vic’s Bisque had me munching down, though the croutons got a bit soggy and fell apart in the soup, messing with the consistency.

Then it was time for a water break, to clear any lingering flavors from the palate and provide enough water to stop our cells from going hypertonic.

At this point, we discovered the pitfalls of going soup for soup like this. The remaining soups increased in brutality, evidently the fault of my poor planning. Most of these non-Chartwells affiliated soups were stuffed in the Connan room, an embarrassment of riches of soups that were each embarrassingly rich. As we sampled these, I realized how few bowls my untrained stomach could take before pleasure left the equation.

The Edge’s Cream of Mushroom was exactly how you’d expect it to be. Fans of the flavor delighted in it.

Stack’d Underground’s Loaded Baked Potato with Bacon was simply too much. The chunks of potato and bacon were not harmonious with the soup in which they were immersed, resulting in a struggle over spoonfuls.
I assume that somebody appreciated The Exchange’s Broccoli Cheddar.

Au Bon Pain’s Corn Chowder was shockingly sweet and not so shockingly corny.

Salem’s Lentil Soup was a great closer to the soup ennealogy. According to Jessica Tones, it was a homemade recipe that had proven to be very popular.

I commend the variety of soups that were available, even for those with dietary restrictions. It can’t be easy to organize an event at this scale, and it certainly can’t be easy to make soup for so many students. Each soup was unique and given a personal touch by whoever cooked it, whether named or nameless.

And then, time was up. The crawl ceased, the tables closed down, and the smell dissipated. But poll workers were hard at work crunching the numbers, and emerged with the definitive soup ranking: