The Tartan

By Christopher Lessler

Doherty:

As ashamed as I am to admit it, I used to judge this building for lacking what I thought was an obvious necessity: a way to get from one part of the first floor to another part of the same first floor. I hated that I was forced to head upstairs or downstairs to cross between Doherty’s two separate first levels. But once I stopped listening to the floors-of-a-building-should-be-connected mantra and finally started thinking for myself, I saw the error in my ways. I realized that Doherty can teach us all a quite valuable lesson. Sometimes, we find ourselves somewhere and we want to get somewhere else. We try to take the shortest possible route — a straight line — to our destination. But that’s not always possible, and so we have to think outside the box (or floor) and take a metaphorical set of stairs up and back down to get where we want to be. It’s a stunning and beautiful life lesson. This building has forever enlightened me. 10/10.

Hunt:

The quiet-study third floor is the one place I can find peace and quiet on this campus. That alone makes Hunt great. Plus the view of the Mall from that floor is almost as insane as how late I’ll be up tonight if I don’t actually do my homework and stop looking out the Hunt windows. Just like my code, this building’s architecture shouldn’t work, but it somehow does. Hunt looks very distinct from the buildings surrounding it, and yet it manages to add to the campus without taking any cohesiveness away. Hunt is definitely the sleeper hit of Carnegie Mellon architecture. 9/10.

Tepper:

I’m a Tepper student myself, so I definitely have absolutely no biases at all. This has everything you’d need from a building: an unnecessarily massive atrium, stairs, elevators, classrooms, study areas, and crying areas. And that’s based on only the half of the building that I’ve extensively been in, because the other half is reserved for graduate students and professors. There are literally signs by the entrances telling you not to study in there if you’re an undergraduate student. As an undergraduate business major, I look forward to the day when I’m a grad student and can study in luxury while looking down on all the undergrads who have to find tables outside of Millie’s to study. 8/10.

Gates:

I’ve never felt more self-conscious about myself than when I walked through this building while wearing a Tepper beanie. And speaking of self-consciousness, what made this university want to hide away its computer science building in a spot where you can barely see it? This is a cool building — it has an oddly hypnotizing spiral in the center, for goodness’ sake! We have one of the best computer science programs in the country, so why are we dumping this building in a maintenance ditch? When our AI overlords take over, are they going to be happy with a building that isn’t a major focal point of campus? My advice to Gates is to be proud of who you are and not hide in a dark corner of campus. 7/10.

Baker/Porter:

This is one building, not two. I will die on this hill (and by hill, I of course mean the slanted hallway). I wouldn’t even be able to find the boundary between the buildings if there weren’t a sign hanging from the ceiling in the first-floor hallway telling me where it is. Minus one point for dishonesty. Otherwise, this is a great building. It has slanted hallways, non-slanted hallways, cool industrial staircases, and even secret passageways. I don’t understand how I’ve been able to find the two classes I’ve had on Baker floor A, because everything on level A is only accessible via navigating a labyrinth. I suspect that half of the students who drop classes at this school did so because they couldn’t find their classroom in Baker/Porter. Once you do know where your classes are, it’s strangely fun to head to them. Decent (albeit dishonest!) building. 6/10.

Wean:

The Mall is a wonderful part of our campus, with amazing buildings that are all unique but also share a cohesive architectural style. Simply put, it’s beautiful harmony in this chaotic world. For the best viewing experience, I suggest heading to the entrance of Wean — and turning around with your back facing the building, so that you can’t see it. My biggest qualm is the giant nondescript cube above the entrance of Wean because without the cube, Wean would be ignorable. And that would be a good thing. Other than its blatant disregard for its architectural surroundings, Wean is not bad at all. I’d argue that Wean looks significantly better from the side where Newell-Simon is because it makes more sense in that environment, it’s taller so therefore it’s more imposing, and there isn’t a giant cube jutting out of the building. Plus, it’s one of the easier campus buildings to navigate. (Though if you’ve seen many of the other buildings, that’s not saying much.) We’ve all heard the advice that you should stand out. It’s sound advice, and Hunt does it well. But if you happen to be a building, before standing out, please make sure you’re standing out in a good way, unlike Wean. Thanks in advance. (If you’re a person, my advice doesn’t apply. You’re perfect the way you are.) 4/10.