The Tartan

By Courtney VanAuken and Zachary Gelman

Best Picture:

Courtney Vanauken: I have not gotten around to watching all of the Best Picture nominations yet. However, out of the ones I have seen, I think that “Oppenheimer” has to take it home. I really don’t want to like the movie, but it’s so hard to not like it. Why do I feel like “Anatomy of a Fall” stands a fair chance at taking Best Picture home? Maybe it’s because of the dog.

Zachary Gelman: I agree that there is great power in that dog. But “Anatomy of a Fall” is also a foreign film, which means it’s less good than the American movies. That’s why I have to give my support to “Oppenheimer” as well. Individual movies may each have better aspects, but the ability to keep all the plates juggling over a three-hour run time is evidence of the best picturosity.

Best Actor:

CV: It is hard for me to envision a version of the Oscars where Best Actor goes to anyone other than Cillian Murphy. As much as I try to be a free thinker, I think that when it comes to his performance in “Oppenheimer,” I am a sheep. I wish it could’ve gone to Zac Efron for his performance in “The Iron Claw,” but we can’t always get what we want. Sometimes we just have to eat our vegetables and give Cillian Murphy the award for Best Actor.

ZG: I don’t like Zac Efron’s story about breaking his jaw on a kitchen countertop (yuck), but I loved his performance as a sad wrestler. In fact, I saw a great dog meme just the other day that showcased his brilliance. I agree with Courtney here.

Best Supporting Actor:

CV: How funny would it be for Mark Ruffalo to win best supporting actor for his role in “Poor Things”? I don’t want Robert Downey Jr. to win. One of the things I hate most in life is a successful man. First RDJ is Iron Man, he makes crazy bank, and then he leaves and goes straight into Oscar-winning work after romping around the superhero genre? That makes things too easy for him. A Mark Ruffalo win, however…, is something I can get behind. Was Mark Ruffalo Hulk? Yes. But also, does that matter at all? No. No one cares about Hulk, we only care about Mark Ruffalo. Give him the Oscar.

ZG: Ry-an Gos-ling! Ry-an Gos-ling! I didn’t see “Poor Things” because I have other things going on in my life, so I can’t comment on Mark Ruffalo. However, I do believe that I could have portrayed Robert Downey Jr.’s character in “Oppenheimer” just as well as he did. All he did was seethe for three hours. I’ve done it my whole life! Ryan Gosling, on the other hand, displayed emotions running the gamut from joy to sadness to a secret third thing. He even did the doctor’s office pain scale faces.

Best Actress:

CV: The two “stones” are head-to-head for Best Actress. I think it has to go to either Lily Gladstone or Emma Stone. I think the Oscars have the opportunity to make history with Lily Gladstone winning for “Killers of The Flower Moon,” but we know the Oscars love to bait audiences with the potential of historical wins. Seeing how the award season has progressed thus far, I think Emma Stone might be able to pull through. I would be happy with either.

ZG: I had to watch “Nyad” for this because I don’t have much going on in my life. It was terrible. Annette Benning’s portrayal of Diana Nyad was nothing to write pillbox about. I choose Sandra Hüller because she basically had to portray Lily Gladstone and Robert De Niro at the same time. No small feat!

Best Supporting Actress:

CV: Da’Vine Joy Randolph all the way. She has already received critical acclaim for her performance in “The Holdovers” with her Best Supporting Actress wins at the Golden Globes, BAFTA, and the Critics’ Choice Awards. She is on a winning streak, and I don’t think that it’s one that will end anytime soon.

ZG: If Jodie Foster wins, I’ll be very upset.

Best Director:

CV: I don’t feel confident in my predictions for Best Director since I haven’t seen “Anatomy of a Fall” or “The Zone of Interest” (both of which could be strong contenders). I think Christopher Nolan is most likely to receive the popular vote, but I would be happy if Yorgos Lantimos upset. He’s a strange man; imagine his acceptance speech.

ZG: I don’t know what directors do, so this is just Best Picture for me.

Best International Feature Film:

CV: I have only gotten around to watching “The Teachers’ Lounge.” As a writer for The Tartan, I think it would be sacrilegious for me to snub its representation of adolescent muckrakers. Everyone is talking about “The Zone of Interest,” and by the time this is published, I will have watched it, I swear.

ZG: I’ve only seen Wim Wenders’ “Perfect Days,” but I know it’s the best one. In addition to being my second most-listened-to song last year, and my most-listened-to song the year before, “Perfect Day” by Lou Reed is one the greatest songs of all time, one of the greatest albums of all time. Even if this movie was bad, it would still be good. Full review to come.

Best Animated Feature Film:

CV: “The Boy and the Heron” has been on my watchlist far too long for me to not have seen it. Especially since it is supposed to be Hayao Miyazaki’s final work, I hope it wins. But there is always the chance that he’s going into retirement purely for attention. I would do the same.

ZG: I’ve only seen the new Spider-Verse, so I know that it is not the “best animated feature film.” Maybe the worst. They should have nominated “Trolls 3.”

Best Production Design:

CV: “Poor Things” all the way. I think the only reason I am not giving it to “Barbie” or “Oppenheimer” for their execution of practical effects is because “Poor Things” had a bit more of a challenge with worldbuilding. “Oppenheimer” is a historical flick and “Barbie” has decades of source material, and “Poor Things” is so originally strange and unlike anything I have seen. It had to be such a challenge to create a world with any semblance of cohesion.

ZG: Does Production Design include casting? I believe that it does, so the award goes to “Killers of the Flower Moon” for its impeccable plucking of 1920s-looking dudes out of the time stream into the present day. The film also genuinely looked like it was filmed in Oklahoma. Can “Poor Things” say that?

Best Cinematography:

CV: I have no strong opinions about the nominations for Best Cinematography this year. Maybe “Oppenheimer” or “Poor Things”? Don’t ask me. I am wrong.

ZG: What if it was called Cinnamon-tography and it meant something completely different? Wouldn’t that be cool?

Best Costume Design:

CV: “Killers of the Flower Moon.” Dramaturgically speaking of course.

ZG: I don’t care about this one.

Best Documentary Short:

CV: As I’m writing this, I have not seen any of the nominees. I am a bad film nerd.

ZG: I applaud the creators of these shorts for making them all available online, but these all feel like YouTube videos. “The ABCs of Book Banning” is basically a PowerPoint! Maybe this just means that YouTube videos have gotten very good. My favorite was “The Last Repair Shop,” but you can easily watch all of these yourself. You don’t need my opinion.

Best Documentary (long):

CV: Ask me in a week.

ZG: If I wanted to watch a feature-length documentary, I’d simply go outside and observe for one-hour and 53 minutes. I didn’t watch any of these, so instead I’ll spotlight the best documentary that I saw in 2023: “Murderball” (2005). “Murderball” is about the sport of wheelchair rugby, formerly known as murderball, and the people who play it. Equal parts hilarious and compelling, it’s better than most of the movies nominated this year.

Best Original Song:

CV: I don’t think I have strong opinions about this category. I’d say “What Was I Made For?” from “Barbie,” given its success in the award circuit so far. Also, “Dicks: The Musical” was completely snubbed. I understand why. Anyone who saw “Dicks: The Musical” understands why. But also, “I’ll Always Be On Top,” “All Love is Love,” and “Out Alpha The Alpha” would be such strong contenders.

ZG: I watched the entirety of “Flamin’ Hot” for this category because I am a moron. Who knew a film about the invention of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos could be so paint-by-numbers, and so lacking in best original songs? Not only is this purportedly true story completely fictional, but the song nominated for this category was exclusively played during the credits, so I can’t count it! I pick “I’m Just Ken” from “Barbie,” the song that swept a nation.

Best Adapted Screenplay:

CV: I don’t want to make a prediction for the best-adapted screenplay since I haven’t seen “The Zone of Interest” or “American Fiction.” This being said, I think I would give it to “Poor Things.” I feel bad giving it everything, but I would love to see the movie receive critical acclaim and recognition from the Oscars.

ZG: If you had seen “American Fiction,” then I’m sure you would give it to “American Fiction.” Though I guess we aren’t actually “giving” it to anything, as we aren’t voting members of the Academy of Motion Pictures.

Best Original Screenplay:

CV: This is the category I care about the most. I still haven’t gotten around to seeing “May December,” “Maestro,” or “Anatomy of a Fall.” That being said, I really enjoyed “Past Lives.” If it wins, you know that dance that Snoopy does? Imagine that, but me. I think the “Past Lives” screenplay was incredibly strong, but I still have a hunch about “Anatomy of a Fall.” I’m excluding “The Holdovers” from the running because I think there could’ve been 15 to 30 minutes cut from the movie, but I don’t know how much of that is the fault of the screenplay.

ZG: The screenplay was basically the only bad part of “Maestro,” but boy was it bad. “The Holdovers” was the best it possibly could be, but the WAR of “Anatomy of a Fall” was so high that I’d cast my vote for it.

Best Live Action Short:

CV: If you read my forum piece on Wes Anderson, I think you will understand my thoughts on “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar.” The other nominated films were deeply personal and political, such as “Red, White, and Blue,” which provides commentary on abortion bans across the nation, and “Invincible,” a memorial to a young boy who lost his life in correctional facilities. “Knight of Fortune” was incredibly humorous in a Scandinavian sense. I think “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar” will end up taking the cake. 

ZG: Why do they make it so hard to watch these movies? I’m not going to pay for my entertainment. We all know that “TWSoHS,” although good, was not the Wes Anderson movie that should have been nominated for an Oscar this year.

Best Animated Short:

CV: I have no idea. I still need to watch the Best Animated Short nominees, but I am fond of claymation. Do any of the nominated shorts feature claymation? If so, I am betting on that one.

ZG:  I’m sure that three were good, one was decent, and one was awful, as is tradition. Look no further than last year’s nominations for a perfect example of this phenomenon. “An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It” was a charming stop-motion postmodernpost-modern work of Australianism by a man named Lachlan Pendragon. “The Flying Sailor” chronicled the true voyage of a sailor that exploded in 1917 and lived. “Ice Merchants” was the best one. “My Year of Dicks” wasn’t very relevant to my lived experiences. “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse” was schmaltzy without substance. Guess which one won. 

Best Film Editing:

CV: I have a hunch that “The Holdovers” might be able to pull through and take this category home. When I left “The Holdovers,” I had thoughts about the pacing of the film, however! The editing in “The Holdovers” was something that I actively enjoyed and appreciated. 

ZG: This is my pity category that I’m giving to “The Holdovers” because I felt bad I didn’t give them any other awards.

Best Original Score:

CV: “Killers of The Flower Moon.” Methinks. I’m not too confident. I think I need to take time to sit down in Schenely and listen through the score for “Killers of the Flower Moon”, “Oppenheimer”, and “Poor Things”. I think. It will go to one of those three… 

Best Sound:

CV: “Oppenheimer.” Best Sound always goes to the war movie. If the movie has explosions, it will win. The readers of The Tartan have full permission to throw trash at me if “Oppenheimer” doesn’t win. But that won’t happen, because “Oppenheimer” will win Best Sound. It will.

Best Visual Effects:

CV: I don’t want to give this to Marvel given their exploitation of visual effects artists, but also, I don’t want to give it to “Napoleon” because that movie was awful. Also “Mission: Impossible”? No. It has to go to “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.” At Marvel Studios, the visual effects team’s heart is in the work.