The Tartan

 “Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now.” -Certain Certified Loverboys

Full transparency: I was supposed to be reviewing “The Tortured Poets Department” with my close friends Thing 1 and Thing 3, but they were both indisposed or refused to speak truth to power against Taylor Swift. (Read: I wound up doing this at an ungodly hour and both Thing 1 and Thing 3 abandoned me to go to sleep before 3 a.m. Cowards.) Anyway, while I wasn’t paying attention, Kendrick Lamar dropped a full album.

Not a joke: I fully got a text message from Thing 1 that just said, “Kendrick just dropped a full album,” followed by a frantic plea to listen to it. 

So I did.

We start out with “wacced out murals,” a song which reminded me that, “Oh yeah, the rap world was on fire a few months ago when the biggest rapper in the world was accused of pedophilia.” This one is absolutely not a club song. The beat is hard-hitting and slow, and Kendrick infuses the lyrics with what I can only call “that vibe.” It’s a lot of fun, genuinely, but I’m adding it to the list of songs that make me go, “Oh dear lord, that man is gonna kill someone,” because I fully expect Kendrick to pull up to OVO Sound with a license to kill. This song’s got a lot more than that, though. It’s a scathing criticism of hip-hop, the current political climate, and of society’s treatment of Black America. It’s also an absolute banger. I was fully into the song three seconds in and started jamming out by the midway point. Great album opener, very scary, 9/10.

A while back, Kendrick dropped the music video for “Not Like Us,” which opened with a mysterious sample of a different song that wasn’t that summer jam, and it seems that was the introduction to “squabble up.” Those bars hit just as hard as they did when they were strange additions to “Not Like Us,” but the rest of the song absolutely delivers on the promise those first few moments do. Seriously, I’m going to get to the point where I call every other song a good time, but these two have both delivered on some amazing lyrics over a solid beat and an important message. 8/10 — shoot, Kendrick, let other people aim for some Grammy noms.

So, “luther.” One moment. SZA IS ON THIS SONG? DAWG. SPOTIFY GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER; WHERE MY FEATS AT? Otherwise, this is a great song. It’s not my cup of tea, personally, but I can’t really complain. SZA absolutely elevates anything she’s in, and this is no exception. Listening to Kendrick belt out some lyrics soothes my soul. Probably not something I’ll listen to a lot, but it’s a great slow song to listen to.

The beat on “man at the garden” is a great draw, and Kendrick has some great lyrics, but it’s not a vibe song. It is, however, another great cut into Kendrick’s own psyche, or, more specifically, a song that seems to explore a psyche. It’s a great song, and tonally in line with “luther,” even if it’s a far cry from the animated stuff from “wacced out murals” and “squabble up.”

I think “hey now” uses the same sample that “squabble up” did? But I’m not sure, and I’m not whipping out Audacity to try to figure it out. The beat on this one is way more reminiscent of “squabble up,” and it absolutely feels like a darker version of that song. “squabble up” felt like angry, soapbox Kendrick. “hey now” feels like Kendrick is back on a killing spree, and the metronome-style beat when he spits “hey now, say now” sent shivers down my spine. The song then absolutely pivots to a different energy as Kendrick varies his flow and his style. The switch up is dramatic, and probably my least favorite part of the song, but the transition rewards you with another banger verse, before transporting us to a more lyrical section, and then heading back to the heavy and darker beat that rounds out the song. I love it, but it’s a bunch of individual ideas that I think distract from a cohesive song. 7/10.

The beat from “reincarnated” doesn’t feel like it matches the actual song being sung, but I fully think that might just be me. His lyricism is great again, and this is another angry Kendrick song, with a ton of references to Drake and a cut into history. The song is about reincarnation, and gives its tributes to what I can only assume are Jackie Wilson and Billie Holiday, their routines, their lives, and their death. I think Kendrick is setting himself up, as a character at least, as the king of hip-hop, or at least the representative of hip-hop on the grand stage, and this song plays into that. Kendrick is a reincarnation of these massive musical influences, and the second half feels more like a spiritual revelation than a traditional rap song. Again, I’m not sure how I feel about this sort of bravado, but honestly, I’ve missed egos in rap, so I’m having fun.

“tv off” makes me happy and I love it. I don’t have anything else to say. I don’t wanna think about this song. I know there’s a lot to think about, but this is fun. I like fun songs. 10/10.

“dodger blue” might have been my first skip. It’s just not fun to me. But that’s okay. It’s still a good song, just not something I personally enjoyed.

“peekaboo” is a lot darker than the beat initially represents, and it absolutely hits every part of that threat with the way Kendrick talks. It’s a fun song, but it’s a lot more “I’m going to kill you :(“ Kendrick and not “I’m going to kill you >:)” Kendrick. I don’t want to dance to this. I just want my mom.

Drake dropped a song called “The Heart Pt. 6” as a reference to Kendrick’s series of “Heart” songs he puts in every album. I’m glad Kendrick got the name back, but this song fully deserves way more than a paragraph in this article, so I’m skipping it for now. 

“gnx” is the titutar track, and it opens with, “Tell ‘em Kendrick did it,” and it’s another in the long list of “Kendrick is the greatest” songs on this album. This one feels the grandest, though, and “gnx” makes me buy into the “Kendrick is the savior imagery” that a lot of other songs just sort of assume I’m already committed to. The features are other West Coast artists, and I think that this is a celebration of that West Coast hip-hop identity that hasn’t really dominated culture the way it should, considering how much this country relies on California. I love the song, and I’m really excited to see if Kendrick can restart that East-West rivalry with the burgeoning scenes in Atlanta, New York City, Los Angeles, and more.

“gloria” is a good album ender, even if the song isn’t my favorite. The second I heard it, I sort of instinctively knew this was it. It’s a very melodic piece and has one of the best melodies this album has featured. The strings absolutely steal my heart every time, and it’s a great song, but it’s a great song because it’s an amazing ending. Not sure how I feel about “gloria” before, say, “squabble up,” so if you’re listening to this on shuffle, this one’s probably not great.

All in all, I loved this album. Someone get Kendrick that Album of the Year win! 9.5/10.