With every rotation ’round the sun, hockey fans keep their eyes out for those beautiful annual experiences: the Stanley Cup Playoffs, outdoor games, and of course, which players end up where as general managers decide either to bolster their teams or admit that their plans were dumpster fires. (I’m looking at you, Pens.)
The following analysis of trade splashes will be divided by teams who were either “buyers” or “sellers.” I shall explain: in hockey circles, a “buyer” is a team who is in a competitive position and thus feels it’s appropriate to spend money, bringing in huge market names and talent that could help them win a championship. Some people think of it as player “rentals” for the playoffs, since often there’s no new contracts involved, but I think of it more as splurging — spend more money now while a competitive window is present.
A “seller,” which unfortunately includes Penguins GM Kyle Dubas, is a GM or team who has decided that the season is a lost cause and directs all efforts towards the future. The means to this end (getting future draft picks and opening up available money) is giving away their productive players to get large, future-oriented returns. It’s a traditioned system that *generally* keeps teams cycled through good and bad spans.
The chaos of last year’s market only comes every so often — this time around, it was far more mild, though there were still a few head-turning moments. We begin with the sellers.
The Bottom of the Barrel
Ah yes, the “better luck next year, boys!” section. Don’t cry; smile because it’s almost over. The following set of teams can be thought of as those who, in recent years, have found that their prospect pool’s development has resulted in continued pain and suffering. The answer, of course: more prospects.
Sharks: C-. You offloaded Zetterlund, Kunin, and Walman? (This is like taking the peanut out of the peanut M&M.) At least you’ve got eight picks in the first two rounds of the draft in ’25 and ’26, but man, it’s hard to rebuild when you’ve got no foundation, no?
Blackhawks: B+. I don’t know why you didn’t go get the Red Wing that made more sense, but Veleno works too, I guess! You only had to let go of Mrazek and a few draft picks, plus you added on Spencer Knight, a first-round pick next year, and Connor Bedard continues to develop. Solid work, Kyle Davidson.
Sabres: D+. Your only move was to get rid of a pick and one of your best forwards for a forward who costs more and produces around the same. Say it with me now: “Classic Sabres!”
Predators: D+. This team pretending to be a buyer is like your broke friend spending on a credit card: irrational and dangerous. Bunting? The dude’s a highly paid, top forward. Keep sending away your picks and see how that goes.
Kraken: A-. This is a team whose depth has incredible potential. Yes, Gourde and Bjorkstrand are gone, but they got, like, a million picks in return. This was a solid go. Just a fluke year, right? Right?
The Almost, but Not Quite
These teams thought they had something, and maybe they did, but it just never happened. Oh well. Immediate contention could still be on the horizon!
Penguins: A-. You gotta believe me when I say I’m not even biased here. Kyle Dubas has been lights out. This team has the most total draft picks in the next three years?! Losing Bunting and Beauvillier is fine. Keep up the subtle rebuild, we trust it!
Flyers: B+. This year you underachieve, last year you overachieve — if you would just spread out the achievement, you’d be fine. These guys are burglars, impressive ones too. A first-rounder by only giving up Scott Laughton! Who needed Scott anyway?
Ducks: C-. They are not getting all of their ducks in a row. Far from it. As a team who is rebuilding, you have to at least TRY to rebuild. They did nothing, aside from getting, like, three prospects. We need more quack attack, Pat.
Islanders: A+. Brock Nelson is gone, but look at that haul! Hot damn! A first-round pick, another pick, and two prospects! Yes! Woo! Next year should be marginally better.
Bruins: F. No, Don Sweeney. Bad Don Sweeney. You’re now the opp of the entire city of Boston. You got some picks, whatever, but under no circumstances should you trade your captain for a couple sauce packets (a second-round, mind you, CONDITIONAL pick). You didn’t have to rebuild like this yet. Why, Don, why?
Fringe
If you’re here, you could make it! Play your cards right (emphasis on right) and you too might earn the privilege of getting smoked in the first-round. I’m skipping a handful of teams that did next to nothing.
Utah: B-. This team is a fringe, but they didn’t want to take risks and decided not to do anything other than reload with more prospects. It’s like the pretending of the Predators but in the other direction, so no one gets hurt. See ya next year.
Rangers: C+. This team is so confusing. Aside from the JT Miller trade earlier, bringing in Brisson isn’t adding too much. On paper, this team is a contender. Maybe get a new coach or something.
Blue Jackets: B+. I have a weird feeling this team is going to win the Stanley Cup. One of those weird gut impulses, you know? They’ve channeled the power of Johnny Hockey. They got Kunin and Fischer while the team was already starting to hit its stride. The Jackets are back, baby!
Canucks: A-. O’Connor and Pettersson were pickups that filled their back-end defense and developed young forward holes perfectly. The question becomes whether the current team on the ice can get their s*** together. I believe.
Playoff Bound
These teams *should* make the playoffs in 2025! They are the buyers I spoke of earlier, and now we will judge their investments. I again omit teams that were essentially uninvolved in the market.
Senators: B-. They wanted Zetterlund, and they got Zetterlund. The rest of the team is winning. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, boys.
Devils: A+. Another certified banger from Tom Fitzgerald. The man gets Domoulin and convinces the Ducks to keep paying for him while also getting Gruden, Glass, Sprong, and McLoughlin. If it wasn’t for Jack Hughes being out for the rest of the season, I might honestly put them behind the Jackets as a gut-feeling cup favorite.
Lightning: B+. I am cautiously optimistic here. Their acquisitions are incredible: Gourde, Bjorkstrand, and Aucoin will no doubt be good fits, but to give up two first-round picks and a second-round pick? They’re all in — it better work!
The Big Guns
These guys didn’t really have to do much of anything but hey, if you’ve got the money, why not go for more? There are fewer teams here, because when a team is successful, they often feel there’s not much left to do other than continue to win and wait. Just don’t have it blow up in your face next year…
Oilers: B+. I’m only seeing Walman and Frederic, but I’m also only seeing one first-rounder surrendered, so good for you. If you don’t win in these next few years, I don’t know what else you could do. You’ve got McDavid and Draisaitl. It seems inevitable.
Leafs: A-. Carlo and Laughton have arrived to save the franchise! The literal only reason that it’s not an A+ is because of their history. I want to believe that this matters, but you’ll have to win two rounds in the playoffs first.
Avalanche: A+. A masterclass, truly. Lindgren, Vesey, Coyle, Johnson, prospects — could you ask for any more? If this team doesn’t go far, it’s because they’ll self-destruct. Otherwise, they’ll be in the conference finals.
Panthers: A+++. You got elite center and captain Brad Marchand with only some sauce packets (previously discussed, a second-round pick). This has to be an all-time fleece. Get ready to unlearn a decade of hate, Panthers fans; this guy could get you a cup.
Stars: C-. I don’t really like the whole “we need Rantanen or else” philosophy if it means losing five future draft picks. That’s a bit much, no? Five? Who am I kidding, watch him score the Stanley-Cup-winning goal or something.
The stages are set for the ’yoffs. Aside from the Brad Marchand trade, there were sadly no blockbusters this year, but perhaps it’s for the best — teams are exercising a silence that has become an increasingly popular ingredient for long-term success. On paper, I’m seeing the Avalanche and Panthers as the two front-running juggernauts, but of course, playoff hockey is unpredictable in nature. It will inevitably be the team no one expected.
As for Pittsburgh, I’m sorry to report that the Penguins will not be gahnta Super Bowl this year. We are sorry, Crosby. Next year.
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