The announcement of the closure of Dave and Andy’s in April 2024 was a tragedy for both Pitt students and regular people. It was especially a tragedy for Andy, as the famed Ice Cream shop was due to close due to his unfortunate death in a freak fire. Despite the devastating news, Andy’s family could take solace in the incredible amount of money they were making as ice cream fans lined up around the block over the last few days, eager to get one more taste of that famous D&A from the partially smouldering but still functional charming storefront.
The Natrat went down to Oakland to get some students’ thoughts on the closure.
Angela Yum (from Phoenixville but tells everyone she’s from Philadelphia): “I think it’s a real tragedy. I used to love going there after practice, but I guess now we’ll have to go somewhere else. I heard that, actually, Dave killed Andy.”
Alabama Messplate (lives in an Oakland tenement, first recorded case of a Pittsburgh strand of the bubonic plague): “Eighty-something is far too young. I hope somebody investigates that fire. I know he was old, but even so, why did he have so many candles? Anyway, I’ll be hosting a party on my rickety porch roof later if you want to join. We’re aiming to fit 60 people on that bad boy.”
Audrey Burrows (born in Pittsburgh in 1916, will die in Pittsburgh in 2026): “I don’t appreciate ice cream much, not since I lost my gums in ‘Nam, but I do love me some candles, and I have so many of them.”
Aubrey Graham (Carnegie Mellon student, spiritually from New Jersey): “I actually go to Carnegie Mellon University. I’m currently studying statistics but I’m planning to switch into computer science. I’m just down here to pick up my Noodle & Co order. Who is Dave Andy?”
Clearly, students and the elderly alike were devastated by the closure, but this devastation turned to glee a few months later when it was revealed that a deal had been reached between Andy’s estate and some friends of the family to reopen the shop under new management. The store would retain that classic Dave and Andy’s name (Dave and Andy’s) — the product of an intense brainstorming session between Andy Hardie and Dave Tuttle — but the rights to the history of the store (and the four pre-integration championship titles) had already been sold off to the Rita’s Italian Ice in Squirrel Hill. Nevertheless people once more flocked to Dave and Andy’s in lines once again circling the block, desperate to be a part of history once more.
End of story? No! Following six months of investigation, The Natrat is ready to reveal to the world the Dave and Andy’s deception. Natrat reporters were first tipped off by the pseudonymous informant Cream Throat that all was not right in Ice Cream land when they were shown the following emails, meticulously transcribed as they were written:
1)
Subject: Thinking arson
My Slots debts are running high, loan sharks out for me. I need soem more money to hit it big, I’m thinking that we durn down the store, get the insurance payout, split it 60-40, never see each other again.
– Andy
Sent from my iPhone
2)
Re: Subject: Thinking arson
You must be careful, emails can be traced. We must make our emails as innocuous as possible, and stay anonymous. I’d be glad to “bake one last big pie” with you, but I require that we split the frosting evenly.
– D
Sent from my iPad
3)
Re: Re: Subject: Thinking arson
Okay Dave
– Handy Ardie
Sent from my iPhone
This may seem ridiculous, or even satirical, but it’s actually true! But how did Andy go from planning insurance fraud to dead at the hands of his hundreds of candles? As the uncovered information has not yet been proven in a court of law, The Natrat cannot elaborate further in an informative news article. However, if The Natrat were instead to write a humor article for a hypothetical April Fools Natrat issue for April Fools (perhaps humorously called the Tartan), then this hypothetical joke article could suggest (as a joke), that Dave planned the reopening in advance, killed Andy, and raked in the profits from the grand closing and the grand opening.
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