A free-for-all fight occurred on The Cut on the afternoon of Tuesday, March 25 when a writer from ReadMe balled up the most recent edition of The Tartan and threw it away in front of a longtime staff writer from The Tartan. Several other members of The Tartan started after the ReadMe writer with fists and rolled up copies of The Tartan and ReadMe.
After beating each other around with rolled-up newspapers over the course of several long minutes, the members of each respective publication paused to examine the damage. The Tartan’s Editor-in-Chief, Arden Ryan, was clutching his eye in pain as a rogue newspaper seemed to have given him a papercut just below his eye socket. ReadMe’s Kevin Keane was a little dizzy after being whacked with a particularly funny copy of pillbox.
While all this was going on, a group of Carnegie Mellon students gathered on the sidewalk to watch as the two competing publications “took it to the streets,” as they say.
“I didn’t know there was so much tension between the two,” sophomore Marilyn Cooper told The Tartan. “Honestly, this is the most entertaining thing to ever happen on this campus,” senior Jack Altman stated.
Students from Carnegie Mellon’s School of Drama saw the fight and came out to The Cut to add more fuel to the fight. They began by singing different songs from West Side Story, including “Tonight (Quintet)” and “Jet Song.” These songs gave The Tartan and ReadMe more energy, and the fight took off again.
After only a few more minutes (we’re writers, not fighters), the fight ceased and all parties involved collapsed on the ground out of exhaustion. The spectators that had gathered began to put their recording devices away. Carnegie Mellon returned to its previous state of anxiety and depression. All was right in the world once again.
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