Trolls Band together dialogue review
Last week, your two favorite section editors bumped into each other in the UC right before a showing of “Trolls Band Together,” the latest installation in the “Trolls” universe by Dreamworks. Here is the raw, uncensored conversation they had in the hall outside of McConomy.
Will Curvan: What a film huh?
Zachary Gelman: A real treat by the CMU International Film Festival (IFF), no doubt about it.
W: Not sure why you said the acronym out loud like that, but I gotta agree. “Trolls” is unironically proving itself to be one of the better children’s movie franchises out there, with genuinely good writing and nuanced moral messages, an absolutely packed cast, slick animation, and incredible music in which the diegetic musical numbers weave in and out of the scoring in a really effective way.
Z: It really was something special. The McConomy auditorium used to hold nothing but awful memories of overwrought midterms and incessant lectures. Now it also holds the memory of the joy I felt watching “Trolls Band Together,” and the joy of the people around me, child and adult alike. The IFF people did a great job setting up the event. I definitely wouldn’t be bored if they were the ones organizing activities in the future. They gave out Bass Pro Shop-inspired caps, BroZone shirts, and, for the poor souls like me in the back of the line, ill-fitting troll doll style wigs. So ill-fitting, in fact, that they didn’t even fit on the head of the small child of maybe four years of age that was seated behind me.
W: That kid was interesting to talk with, for sure. I’m a big fan of the second “Trolls” movie, which motivated a rather heated discussion with her (she insisted that the first Trolls is well worth watching “a bajillion times”).
Z: She was a constant reminder that the movie was not for me. And of course it wasn’t! I haven’t seen “Trolls,” “Trolls World Tour,” or even “Donkey’s Caroling Christmas-tacular,” director Walt Dorn’s three previous directorial efforts. Nevertheless, I still had a great time, perhaps buoyed by the theatrical vibes of the auditorium. I guarantee that, even at a top of the line AMC, you wouldn’t see as many people sipping The Coca-Cola Company products and snacking on popcorn and samosas.
W: I am still curious to know what she meant by having “night vision.” I think that a movie for whom the primary audience is college students and children under five is sure to create a memorable experience.
Z: I think the movie is more for tiny children, and their parents — as evidenced by the film being marketed as containing “the first new NSYNC song in 20 years.” College students don’t give a [troll pun] about NSYNC; that’s strictly for the millennials theoretically bringing their children to this movie. Nowadays, they try to make these animated movies enjoyable for adults as well, so that nobody goes postal after watching “Smurfs” 12 times in theaters again.
W: One issue I had is that it’s becoming increasingly unclear what are the taxonomic divisions of the Trolls universe. The lithe and plasticky-limbed species to which Velvet and Veneer, the two villains, belong appear to be essentially humans. They have no feature nor distinguishing characteristic that would indicate otherwise. But this raises important questions about the vaguely humanoid, Seussian characters of Vacation Island (with whom it is shown that the Daveed Diggs Trolls can procreate, and is implied to have done so repeatedly).
Z: It’s true, the creators of the “Trolls” Cinematic Universe seem to have put just enough thought in the world-building to make everything very strange and uncomfortable. You can just imagine the sick freaks in the writers room workshopping what pink-eye would look like on a Troll Doll/Dr. Seuss monstrosity.
W: I also actually laughed at jokes written into the movie, which is better than I can say for a lot of children’s media today.
Z: You know, I consider a movie worthwhile if it has at least one joke that makes me laugh out loud. When Daveed Diggs tries to give Justin Timberlake a wet willie, which Justin Timberlake doesn’t like because he is a grown-up, Daveed Diggs says “Oh sorry, a hwet William” all adult-like, and I laughed my ass off. And then I thought about it again two minutes later and laughed aloud again.
W: You really had an episode over that line, I can confirm.
Z: The brotherly boy band that “bands together” was also voice acted by a real “who’s who” of actors. We’re expected to believe that Eric André and Troye Sivan could be brothers. I expect that “Trolls 4” will feature the parents of main character Branch, and that they will be played by Denzel Washington and Paula Abdul. The scenes where McLovin and Zooey Deschanel, both playing basically ogres, make not-so-subtle references to their sexual escapades made me a bit uncomfortable.
W: This movie really did go to great lengths to prompt the audience to picture all the freaky, freaky interspecies sex that must be happening off-screen.
Z: It’s hard to take Justin Timberlake’s character, Branch, seriously due to the revelations from Britney Spears’ memoir that he once said the words, “Oh yeah, fo’ shiz, fo’ shiz. Ginuwine! What’s up, homie?”
W: All in all, I think the film also had some really potent and effective moral messaging, more than I’d usually expect of a kids movie. It simultaneously shows how one can reconnect with an estranged family in a healthy way, how to empathetically talk about trauma with others, and how to establish boundaries with a toxic or manipulative family member. Heavy stuff, but they pulled it off without a hitch.
Addendum from Zachary:
As part of the movie rollout, Dreamworks partnered with non-Pittsburgh affiliated Shake Shack to release three Troll-named milkshakes (Branch, Viva, Poppy) presumably named after what their titular troll tastes like. I tried the Viva shake. When I watched the film, I envisioned Viva as tasting like an icy bowl of cherries, but the shake was more like a cinnamon roll. It was also disgusting. You can only assume that the trolls, much like Monarch Butterflies, evolved their beautiful exteriors to show predators (and me, a very respectful guy) that they taste awful and just a bite will make you sick. I sadly took more than just one bite, which nearly led to a dietary incident while going through TSA. I’m sure Viva’s sister Poppy tastes better.
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