I was walking to class the other day and I saw an actual sword-swallower on campus. I guess some club had invited her to perform. I can’t see any other reason why she would be here otherwise. She wasn’t in the middle of doing the sword-swallowing thing, but I could tell from her demeanor and the swords nearby. It really makes you reconsider everything. When I was younger, I wanted to be a fire-breather. Whenever it got cold I would go outside and blow till my cheeks turned red, watching my breath crystallize into smoky vapors, like a cold fire. As I grew up, this job path faded into the background, and when I became a man, I put away these childish thoughts. Where did it all go wrong? It seems like the bells tolled for me.

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  • Zachary Gelman

    I wrote a bunch of articles here that your modern browser think will brick your computer: https://thetartan.club.cc.cmu.edu/staff/zgelman

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