There’re a lot of books out there, and plenty of genres too. Even the Carnegie Mellon libraries are filled with books. Beyond the genres, the stacks, the tropes, there are four types of books. There are real fake books, fake real books, fake fake books, and real real books. This will be an explanation of their classification.
What is a real real book? This category includes the non-est of non-fiction books. When you picture a real real book, think of a glossy hardcover book titled “The Wonderful World of Frogs” that gives children ages four to eight a factual glimpse into a spectacular amphibian world. I remember being very big into the concept of amphibians when I was in preschool — frogs and newts and salamanders and the like. Those are real real books. And do you remember the big books with X-ray sliced views of medieval castles? Also real real books. And of course Encyclopediae Britannicae, most academic papers, Jungian theory, and so forth.
What is a fake fake book? Regular works of fiction are fake fake books. They don’t put on airs and pretend to be real. “The Wizard of Oz” is a fake fake book. Sally Rooney books are fake fake books. “The Great Gatsby” is a fake fake book. “Butcher’s Crossing” is a fake fake book. This is not a criticism, just a state of being.
What is a fake real book? “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion” is a fake real book. Some other examples of fake real books would be the collected works of Freudian theory, every horoscope ever, and the scenes from “In Cold Blood” where Truman Capote gushes over how much of a sensitive soul Perry Smith was. These books are made to be perceived as real, but are actually fake.
What is a real fake book? This is the most interesting category. Sometimes, a book is very fictional, yet at the same time ends up being completely nonfictional. If you’re a real prophecy head, Nostradamus would probably fall under this category. People who say they “don’t believe in horoscopes, but just find them interesting” believe that horoscopes are real fake. Philip K. Dick is a master of the real fake book. “The Man in the High Castle,” while on the surface a classic alternate history tale about Nazis, is in fact a fake fake book about a real fake book (allegedly even more real than our real real lives). “VALIS” would be the quintessential real fake book, as its central narrative of pink light God and California burnouts pretty much really happened. The character of “Horselover Fat” (a linguistic rearrangement of Philip K. Dick) is the third-person alter ego of real life character Philip K. Dick, and he’d probably describe it as pretty real, if he wasn’t super dead.
If you want a book classified, send me an email at zgelman@andrew.cmu.edu.
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