• March 30, 2025

  “She finally picked me!” Ex-Incel rejoices at CMU’s Missed Connections!

• March 30, 2025

  Tartan rumbles with ReadMe

• March 30, 2025

  New CMU application criteria: illiteracy 

• March 30, 2025

  La Prima Introduces Happy Hour

• March 30, 2025

  World’s first Artificially Intelligent Graduate

• March 30, 2025

  CMU to offer virtual meal plans alongside digital IDs next year

• March 30, 2025

  ReadMe scattered to the winds after accidentally exposing Cold War conspiracy

• March 30, 2025

  “Scotties” trounce Scots in battle of the barkers

• March 30, 2025

  Why don’t you like me anymore?

• 

  April 1, 2024

  CMU to release ‘Mellon monkeys’ on campus masses